So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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