I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
