so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
