How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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