if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Michael Bay diarrhea
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize