you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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