things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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