ya dads aren't the best wingmen
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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