The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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