You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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