it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
