there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
