He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
NoShamevember. You game?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
