hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
