So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
