No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
