My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
