At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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