He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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