Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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