Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize