He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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