i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
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When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
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I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence