I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am