i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
