Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
