he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
