oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
They took my balls.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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