What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
