im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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