you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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