How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize