No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I can text with my tongue
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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