we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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