Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
