i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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