don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
