just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
A+ Viking dick
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
there is glitter all over my balls
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
