Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
