Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
