did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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