it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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