This dress was meant to end up on your floor
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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