My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
