my mouth tastes like poor choices
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
