I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
