So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.