Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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