Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
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do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
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well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now