That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother