We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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