That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
there is glitter all over my balls
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
