I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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