well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
