They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
bring money and cleavage
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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