I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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