You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
