well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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