im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Also, beer. Big fan.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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