Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
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And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
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What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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