im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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