ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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