Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Screwed.edu
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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