You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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