Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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