omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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