When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize